Why I hate OS patches on Win2003 and Secrets for Coping
Why I hate Windows patches on Windows 2003 Server x86
What are my secrets for manual installation ?
1. Realize that when the automatic update fails, that is your cue that you must
do the update manually. Join the screaming.
2. Clipboard the name of the update from that window that tells you all your failures, e.g. "Security Update for Windows Server 2003 (KB2412687)".
3. Go to GOOGLE with Firefox or Chrome. Do not waste your time with Microsoft searches as they usually give the wrong answer. Do not ask me how it is that searching with google in Internet Explorer gives bad answers but it does.
4. Add these secret keywords before your clipboarded search phrase:
x86 -x64 download details
Unless you eliminate the x64 results, google will show you first a link that will seem right, will download great, and then will fail to install because you (you evil poor person who could not afford a new 64bit server) are running on obsolete 32bit equipment. Join the screaming.
Example:
x86 -x64 download details Security Update for Windows Server 2003 (KB2412687)
THAT WILL WORK ALMOST ALL THE TIME.
5. Use that link, scroll down to the BIG BLUE DOWNLOAD link. Make sure it says Windows Server, make sure it says x86. Make sure it does not say 64.
6. Download, Run, click all the flipping Next links, and then you will probably have to reboot and start all over again with the next one.
Yes there were 3 reboot cycles to get the full set done for April 2011.
Yes I am screaming.
No I cannot reach Microsoft directly. They don't care about poor people who do not upgrade. I have submitted countless error reports when various updates fail. They never work at a later date, and there is no submission process for reporting failures from automatic updates.
This will have to do. Months went by before I figure out these tricks so hopefully this will save some absolute frustration on your part.
Have a nice day.
- For me, they require manual installation EVERY month on EVERY server
- getting to the only important thing on the download page, the BLUE DOWNLOAD BUTTON, often requires a PageDown keypress followed by many seconds waiting for remote control software to get around to redrawing the "optimized" screen. Yes I have small screen sizes on some servers that I have to check up on.
- Reboots are so very very tedius.
- Hate waiting for IE to load its damn default page about security notices,
on those machines which are too cramped for space to install Google Chrome on drive C
What are my secrets for manual installation ?
1. Realize that when the automatic update fails, that is your cue that you must
do the update manually. Join the screaming.
2. Clipboard the name of the update from that window that tells you all your failures, e.g. "Security Update for Windows Server 2003 (KB2412687)".
3. Go to GOOGLE with Firefox or Chrome. Do not waste your time with Microsoft searches as they usually give the wrong answer. Do not ask me how it is that searching with google in Internet Explorer gives bad answers but it does.
4. Add these secret keywords before your clipboarded search phrase:
x86 -x64 download details
Unless you eliminate the x64 results, google will show you first a link that will seem right, will download great, and then will fail to install because you (you evil poor person who could not afford a new 64bit server) are running on obsolete 32bit equipment. Join the screaming.
Example:
x86 -x64 download details Security Update for Windows Server 2003 (KB2412687)
THAT WILL WORK ALMOST ALL THE TIME.
5. Use that link, scroll down to the BIG BLUE DOWNLOAD link. Make sure it says Windows Server, make sure it says x86. Make sure it does not say 64.
6. Download, Run, click all the flipping Next links, and then you will probably have to reboot and start all over again with the next one.
Yes there were 3 reboot cycles to get the full set done for April 2011.
Yes I am screaming.
No I cannot reach Microsoft directly. They don't care about poor people who do not upgrade. I have submitted countless error reports when various updates fail. They never work at a later date, and there is no submission process for reporting failures from automatic updates.
This will have to do. Months went by before I figure out these tricks so hopefully this will save some absolute frustration on your part.
Have a nice day.
Comments